For the person who looks like they have it all together, and is quietly exhausted from keeping it that way.
From the outside, it probably looks like you’re doing well. You’re the reliable one, the one who remembers everything, rewrites the email three times and never lets a ball drop, and people would be surprised to hear how hard it all feels on the inside. Underneath the competence there’s often a constant hum of pressure, a voice that’s never quite satisfied, and a tiredness that rest doesn’t seem to touch.
Perfectionism rarely looks like the word suggests. Sometimes it’s polished work and high standards, but just as often it’s procrastinating on the things that matter most, avoiding anything you can’t do well straight away, replaying conversations long after they’ve ended, or feeling that a single mistake says something final about who you are. Many people who come to me for perfectionism therapy also describe high-functioning anxiety, burnout, or a sense that they’re always one step away from being found out.
Perfectionism Therapy in Toronto
Perfectionism is often a form of protection
It’s easy to treat perfectionism as a personality flaw to be fixed, but in my experience it usually started as something much more understandable. For many people, getting things right became the way to feel safe, loved or out of trouble long before they had words for it, perhaps in a home where approval felt conditional, where things were unpredictable, or where being “the easy one” kept the peace.
That’s why simply being told to lower your standards rarely helps, because those standards have been doing an important job for a very long time. In therapy, rather than trying to argue with your perfectionism or force it away, we get curious about what it has been protecting you from, and what it might be like to feel safe without it working so hard.
How we work with perfectionism in therapy
My approach is integrative and relational, which means the work follows you rather than a manual. We’ll look at the patterns underneath the pressure, where they began, and how they show up now, in your work, your relationships and the way you speak to yourself when no one else is listening.
I often draw on Internal Family Systems (IFS) to get to know the inner critic as a part of you that is trying to help, even when it hurts, alongside psychodynamic work to understand where the old rules came from. Somatic work helps your body learn to settle rather than brace, and practical, evidence-based tools from CBT and DBT can loosen the grip of all-or-nothing thinking and procrastination in day-to-day life.
The pace is unhurried. You don’t need to arrive with a clear story or the right words, and there is no way to do therapy perfectly, which for many of my clients becomes part of the work itself.
What can change
People often notice that they can start things without the dread, finish things without the endless second-guessing, and make a mistake without it unravelling their whole day. Rest begins to feel less like something you have to earn, and there’s more room for the parts of life that were squeezed out by the pressure to perform. Rather than losing your drive or your standards, you get to choose them, instead of being run by them.
Sessions
I’m Sabrine Soliman, a Registered Psychotherapist (CRPO) and the founder of Metamorphia Wellness. I see individuals online across Ontario, British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Newfoundland and Labrador, in person in Toronto on Monday evenings at 1179 King St W, and outdoors on Walk & Talk sessions in High Park, which many perfectionists find easier than sitting face to face.
Individual sessions are 50 minutes and $160, and receipts include my CRPO registration number, so you can submit them to most extended health plans that cover psychotherapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Perfectionism therapy is psychotherapy that focuses on the patterns behind perfectionism, such as harsh self-criticism, fear of failure, procrastination and burnout. It explores where those patterns began and helps you build a kinder, more flexible relationship with yourself, rather than simply trying to lower your standards.
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Perfectionism isn’t a diagnosis on its own, but it is closely linked with anxiety, and many people who struggle with it describe themselves as having high-functioning anxiety. Therapy can work with both at the same time.
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Yes, it often does, because perfectionism keeps you working past the point of exhaustion and makes rest feel unsafe or undeserved. Addressing the perfectionism underneath is usually an important part of recovering from burnout and not ending up back in the same place.
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Yes. I offer online sessions across Ontario, BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Newfoundland and Labrador, as well as in-person sessions in Toronto and Walk & Talk sessions in High Park.
You don’t have to get this right to begin
If you’ve read this far, it’s likely that some part of it felt familiar. You don’t need to know exactly what to say or have it all figured out before you reach out, and you’re welcome to start with a free 15-minute consultation to see whether working together feels right.
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